Monday, October 16, 2006
Some folks have been asking for another installment of Random Rumblings, and I aim to please.
* I hate carrying keys. They fumble around in my pocket and they are so old school. So when I purchase a house, this will be my second home improvement project. The first, of course, will be installing a urinal.
* Mark Foley is giving drunks a bad name. We used to just have the classics like the angry drunk, the overly friendly drunk, the loud drunk, the "I love you man" drunk, and the you want to step outside drunk. Foley has ruined the good name of drunks.
* Recently, I saw a Nine Inch Nails sticker on a minivan. I’m not sure what this means.
* What kind of dirt does the Red Sox dugout cop have to have on the Mayor or the Chief of Police?
* Since I don’t own an ipod, that makes me officially old, right?
* It is a shame that Lucky Louie got cancelled by HBO. It was hilarious and even more outrageous than Howard Stern back when he was cool.
* Drivers should not slow down when one of those police speed monitors are by the side of the road. The odds have to be slim to none that a cop is nearby. We should actually speed up.
* I’m thinking about getting married just for the tax break. It’s not like a married folk are contributing more to society than someone who is single.
* If you are going to ride your bike in the street along with automobiles, then you have to obey the same traffic laws or else I have the right to hit you.
* Celsius is the greatest non-alcoholic beverage. Almost double the amount of caffeine that is in Red Bull, no preservatives or high fructose corn syrup, and you can burn calories.
* Should I go to see Method Man or Helen Thomas in the coming weeks? Reader’s Choice.